It’s been days since Tough Love ended & I’ve been meaning to write a wrap-up post about the show, but honestly, I’m really sick of the Ward/Vh1 mess and don’t want to give them any more promotion to the attention-seeking hair pulling bad boys of television. The only reason I’ve continued to reply to comments (and repeat myself ad nauseum) is because the matter of societal judgment — and the many inaccuracies thereof — still matters to me.

But that issue is waaayyy bigger than this show and I think it’s time the conversation turned to look at this issue (and related issues of violence against women) from a different view point (soap box).

However, I would like to make the following, short, statements about the program.

* The show had a marvelous opportunity with the episode in which Arian’s mom was on. Not only at the “dinner party,” but in the conversation between Arian’s mom, Steve, and Steve’s mom. But while they edited the footage to include mention of Steve’s infamous statement, they did nothing to address it. Instead…

* Absurd judgmental focus was put on the “inappropriate” relationship between Arian and her mother. Now I can appreciate that not everyone is as open about things, let alone sex, with their parent; and I can accept that the Wards do not talk about sex — or at least not that way. But isn’t being as open with your parents about sex as you are with your friends (and the world on a TV show!) a really honest thing –something to be admired? You may disagree with Arian’s focus on (& attitudes towards) sex, but would you really prefer Arian pretended to be someone she’s not with her mother? I think that’s a testament to the “goodness” of their relationship. I know I talk to my parents the way I do to my friends about sex — and while I’m not as “out there” as Arian, I’m sure Ward’s mom would “upside the head me” (as she gestured, I believe) for the way I talk. They don’t seem very open about or even fond of sex. (I guess these Wards are too soft on The Beaver?) So much for accepting people & their relationships; if we’re not the Wards, we’re not “good.”

* Is it wrong of me to take a perverse sense of happiness that Ward’s “tough love” resulted in relationship failures? If so, sue me. I’d feel bad for the women involved — if A) the show weren’t a trainwreck and the women actually participated in “after the boot camp” interviews at the end of the last show… Since they didn’t, I smell something fishier than Mrs Ward’s unused taco.

* I guess there’s going to be a season two. I won’t be watching. Unless there are some major changes — and after all the people I’ve talked with, I don’t see that happening.

UDATE: For anyone willing to put themselves into the fryin’ pan of Steve Ward’s Tough Love, they are casting — men and women.