Fun With Dick & Shame

When discussing political collectibles, there are the strange, and then there are the tacky. And in my opinion, little is tackier than Nixon.

You know, I say this with affection, as I am collector of Nixon items and oddities.

lick dickIt began with spying a “Liberated Lovelies for Nixon 1972” button. And it might have stopped there — if the anti-button for 72 hadn’t been right there as well… But who could pass that up?!

Nixon naughtiness is out there, and I must have it.

Since those first purchases, I’ve kept my eyes open for more Nixon items.

jellypin“Yes Nixon, No Jelly,” a tab from a candy company to promote their ‘Peanut Butter No Jelly’ candy bar during the campaign. It is interesting to note that the candy bar, like the President, is no longer… I imagine more folks miss the candy bar.

Yes, there was a matching McGovern one too, but I like mocking Nixon — & I have quite the Anti-Nixon collection to prove it! *neener neener*

There are a few reasons why Nixon is so easy to mock. One’s the man himself. The other is that Watergate changed the way we looked at our politicians and leaders. With this new awareness, or cynicism, Nixon spawned more ‘stuff’ than you can imagine.

Some of my personal favorites are the National Watergate Test booklet and the Watergate Coloring Book, where you can “color the facts” yourself.

national watergate test nixon watergate coloring book

Nixon-b-GumSpeaking of Sticky-Tricky-Dicky… How about these “Win With Dick” Bubble Gum Cigars?!

When looking for Nixon collectibles, I recommend this book by Eldon Almquist, who once ran the Nixon Collector’s Organization: The Political Collectibles of Richard M. Nixon.

Freaky Friday: What’s Up With Those Big Toes?

While searching for those 70s sex feet, I stumbled into these kitschy vintage bare feet salt and pepper shakers. I guess not all of them are vintage; but they nearly always have bright red toenail polish.

vintage bare feet kitsch s&p shakers

Why anyone wants to put bare feet on the table, let alone shake their contents onto your food, is anyone’s guess. Like momma always said, there’s no accounting for taste.

But what I do want to figure out is why the big toe is raised like that…

vintage bare foot salt and pepper shakers red toenails raised toe

I found a number of wooden carved ashtrays as well — again, bare feet with raised big toes.

wooden feet ashtrays big toes

One seller, of this pair of mismatched bare feet ashtrays, states, “Designed for use as a pipe holder and ashtray.” So perhaps that big toe helps hold the pipe. …But that doesn’t explain the s & p shakers, does it. If anyone can shed some light on this whole thing — explain just why this is a thing — please, please do!

pair of vintage carved bare feet wooden ashtrays with big toes pointing up

Cheap Thrills Thursday: 70s Feet Edition

In the 70s, footprints were big things. Sometimes they were quite literally big things; such as the giant, and very fuzzy, footprint rugs my sister and I had in our room. (See other things that may have been in your bedroom back then.)

vintage footprint rug ad

Other times, the feet were smaller.

And in pairs.

If you were cognizant in the 1970s, you likely recall all the pairs of mating feet. Because many adults labored under the incorrect belief that such pairs of feet were somehow not understood by children (umm, this is exactly what many children saw when they opened the door to your bedroom), these sex feet were everywhere.

Bare Feet Sex Knockin' Boots 1978 Solid Brass Vintage Belt Buckle

And — surprise! — there’s sexism involved in such a sexual revolution.

Typically, sex feet are shown as heterosexual couplings in the missionary position; which is neither all that revolutionary or, for many, very pleasurable. We are able to see that it’s a man and a woman doing it missionary style as there are two sets of feet — but not of the same size. This is typically deciphered to mean that the larger feet belong to a man. After all, hetero-normative rules state men are to be larger than their lady partners. And his feet must be much bigger because, you know, big feet mean big penis. That’s the myth, anyway. And he must be on top because he is The Top.

vintage retro master slave Sew on Cloth Patch Badges 1970's

Besides, who would change their minds (cross their legs and feet) and say “no” other than a woman?

2 Sets of Feet Glass Vintage Ashtray I've Changed My Mind

But if you think this is all about the Free Love movement, sex feet were often presented or captioned with odd supposedly humorous notions revealing traditional values. Like this ashtray and its “Man does this mean we are engaged” speech bubble.

Kitsch Risque Ashtray bare feet Man Does This Mean We're Engaged - Grizelle Japan

Along with confusion caused by missing punctuation, there’s more than a little cognitive dissonance between the “free love” and the marital sentiments or concerns. But then, the liberating 70s was always more than a little confusing that way.

Vintage Marketing To Women Was A-Wash In Premiums

Some people think that the only premiums that came in boxes were in cereal boxes for kids. Sure, there were those coupon books and other early loyalty programs designed to bring people back to certain department stores, gas stations, grocery stores, and other shops. But when it comes to actual free things inside boxes, most people think of the toys and surprises inside cereal boxes designed to make the kiddies beg mom and dad for the stuff. But there were other premiums, including those in products for adults. And primarily these offers were specifically aimed at those adults in charge of most household purchasing: the American housewife.

white wash no red hands vintage duz adPerhaps nowhere was this push for premiums more used than in the area of laundry detergents and soaps.

The competition was fierce in this market on all sorts of points, just as it is today, on everything from cleaning power and amount of suds (any real expert will tell you cleaning has more to do with physical scrubbing and agitation than chemicals and soap suds) to product versatility, and, because some cleaning still was done by actual human hands (something I still highly recommend), how gentle the product was on the little lady’s hands.

Those of us who are at least 40 years old may vividly recall these premiums and brands — not coincidentally because of the soap operas, which were, at their very essence, dramas created for housewives to watch and therefore pushed soaps and cleaning products; hence the name soap operas.

Lever Brothers, makers of Breeze laundry soap, partnered with Cannon towels for a luxury co-branded premium giveaway, eventually offering three sizes of towels.

breezead

three sizes of vintage cannon towels in breeze detergent

(This stuff is apparently so nostalgic, that someone just paid $39.99 for an old unopened box of Breeze with the towel still inside.)

My mom watched the CBS soap operas, as did her mother before her. As a result, our family was loyal to the family of Proctor & Gamble products. Proctor & Gamble put towels into their boxes of Bonus laundry detergent — as this fabulous musical commercial from 1960s illustrates. Note the gender split — and how the little woman’s knowledge (and sexual necktie manipulation) wins out.

Later, P&G would graduate from towels to putting glasses and china dishes with a wheat pattern (some even with gold trim) in boxes of Duz, the “does everything” laundry detergent. Incidentally, those wheat dishes were once clogging thrift shop shelves, but now, nostalgia coupled with the fascination with Mid-Century Modern, these dishes are making a comeback.

However, when it comes laundry detergent premiums, I don’t think many things are so firmly entrenched in our collective minds as Dolly Parton pitching boxes of soap with towels in them in the 1970s. While there is some debate as to whether the brand of detergent was Breeze or Duz (it was, in fact, Breeze; and we pray again to the YouTube Gods that someone can upload such a commercial!), almost everyone recalls the ads. Especially the kitsch factor.

Dolly herself admits how corny the ads were:

I remember seeing you on “The Porter Wagoner Show,” pulling out giant towels from boxes of Breeze detergent.

It was actually a bath towel — we used to have to do our own commercials on those shows, and they were so corny. But I still have some of those towels that I’ve kept through the years. Those were the days — “And you can only get them in boxes of Breeze!” And honestly, with that towel inside, there probably wasn’t more than half a box of Breeze. But people didn’t care because they were getting something free.

Corny or not, to this day, when I see a small hand towel covered in gold roses, “zeenyas!”, or other yellow flowers I instantly think of Dolly Parton. Its not just Dolly’s love of yellow roses, but those 70s yellow florals that stick in my mind. And that’s not all. Whenever I am at someone’s house and they have a similar looking towel out for use, I am convinced my hands smell like vintage detergent too. Come to think of it, that may be why I don’t like those wheat patterned dishes either.

The Televangelist Infidelity Matrix Scandal

Last week, Rachel Maddow mentioned that there was a mug featuring one on the show’s fabulous charts, The Televangelist Infidelity Matrix, was available at CafePress.

the-televangelist-infidelity-matrix

the_televangelist_infidelity_mug

I went searching for it, but apparently the mug was pulled. Here’s the Google cache. While Rachel didn’t seem upset, likely MSNBC was and had it pulled.

Currently, there’s a hoodie available. Get it while it lasts? (I still prefer the mug. *sigh*) See Also: In The Name Of God.

the_televangelist_infidelity_hooded_sweatshirt

I’ll Keep You In My Hoosegow, Valentine

Isn’t this a creepy, abusive-stalkery-type valentine? It takes the idea of a prisoner of your love to a whole new (low) level — complete with gun!

You’re the one I’ve been looking for,
My chase is over now.
No use in trying to escape —
For my heart’s a strong Hoosegow.
You’re Mine.

See it in action!

More images of this gem in the My Valentines Have Google Eyes post I made last year at the other blog.

If this is a necessary part of your collection, I’ve got it for sale in our case at Exit 55 Antiques — and they will ship to you. You can call the store between 10 am and 5 pm (central time) at (218) 998-3088 between 10 am and 5 pm (central time) any day. (Yup, the shop is open seven days a week!)

vintage mechanical hoosegow valentine

Things Are Different In Scandinavia

For example, you can show female nipples on your coffee mugs< — even in front of the children.

The Blossom & Bill mugs in porcelain come with a funny and harmonic design for both children and adults. The mugs are included in the Blossom & Bill series witch also includes trays, notebooks, and kitchen towels and together they make a perfect set.

Child protective services would be called into US homes where Blossom & Bill readily appear. By ISAK.

Making A Boob Out Of Rights Movements

I’m pro-breastfeeding and feel very strongly that nursing mothers should have the choice to breastfeed in public rather than be relegated to some dark corner and shunned for a natural act which is healthy for their baby. (I discussed this in a post about National Breastfeeding Month and Public Display of Breastfeeding (PDB) day.) And I’m all about a woman’s right to bare breasts in general. But this whole “Breast Beanie” thing is completely another animal…

These knit or crocheted caps for infants to wear which make the baby’s head look like a boob — complete with natural yet contrasting areaola and erect nipple — are a rude push-back. They are strictly for shock and humor value and do nothing to move forward the rights of women to breastfeed in public as they reduce breasts to sexual objects and jokes. And when these hats are not just for nursing infants, but for adult men to wear too, they aren’t about raising awareness of breast cancer or breast health either. It’s the sort of silliness which is a giant step backwards.

Fitting The Female Form Has Always Been Complicated

You (and I) can talk about the difficulty of finding fashions that fit women ’til we’re blue in the face. But if a picture is worth a thousand words, then these vintage Berlei lingerie “Figure Type Indicators” can save us some breath — and thereby our complexions, right?

These “Type Indicators” were like slide rules for the female form, used to assist in the proper fitting of foundation garments. I’ll let the Powerhouse Museum, where I found information in and additional images in their Berlei collection), explain:

It enabled a fitter to determine the client’s precise bust, waist and hip measurements so that she could be fitted with a foundation garment. The chart featured a moveable disc for indicating bust measurement and a moveable pointer for indicating waist measurement. Hip measurement sizes were printed on the border surrounding the moveable disc. An instruction sheet with illustrations was pasted onto the back of the chart and is headed, “How to Use The NEWMAN – BERLEI Type Indicator”.

Overall the chart is very similar to P3645-28/2, Berlei’s first version of The Berlei Type Indicator, with some slight variations. The names for the five body types vary slightly, in this case “Type L.H (Large Hip) Type S.B. (Sway Back) Type L.A. (Large Abdomen) Type A (Average) and Type S.B.W. (Short Below Waist)”, as do the colours for the silhouettes and corresponding areas on the moveable disc. They are pink (Large Hip), green (Sway Back), yellow (Large Abdomen), orange (Average) and grey (Short Below Waist). On the instructions sheet it also states that clients would need to consult the P.N. Fitting Guide.

While the curator at the Powerhouse mentions an earlier version — and by collection artifact number (P3645-28/2), I could not find it on their site. However, I think the point about the complicated nature of fitting the female form has been made. Even if you simplify all women down to five types.

And say what you will about these five types of women’s bodies; they are better than the usual foundation garment fit guides which list us by age and wear, i.e. “matronly.” Should you require proof of that too, let me know and I’ll see if I can stomach scanning those. (Heh, “stomach” a girdle post.)

Meanwhile, enjoy the eve-olution of Berlei’s foundation garment fitting tools over the decades.

PS Based on info at the Powerhouse, I think the first measuring tool (via), is the 1960s Australian version.

Sockingly Awesome, Wretched Vintage Beauty Quackery Device: The Relax-A-Cizor

Any of these old beauty gadgets or quack medical items draws my interest — but when an electrical item demands you make the pads which attach to wires wet, well, I’m in love!

I’d love to own this not-so-little gem, but it’s beyond my budget. *pout* Here’s an awesome description from the seller:

The Relax-A-Cizor is an Electrical Muscle Stimulator. They date from the late 1940’s to the early 1970’s, and sold for $200- $400.
It claims to reduce girth by giving electric shocks to the muscles. Wet pads are strapped or placed on the body, attached by cords to a power source.
Pads can be placed on the stomach, thighs, arms, etc., even the face. Then you just lie there and electric shock yourself into a fabulous figure, yay!
Sounds scary, huh?

In 1971 the FDA declared the Relax-A Cizor to be dangerous, causing or aggravating medical conditions.

This is after selling thousands of units for decades!

The FDA ordered the destruction of units, or for them to be made inoperable. They also banned the resale of already purchased units. So, given all that information, this auction is for the purpose of Collecting Medical Quackery Items only. This Relax-A-Cizor is not being sold as an excercise or fitness machine.

This auction contains:
the original hard case
electrical console with dials, toggle, and inputs
The original instructions
6 disks with pads
face pads and strap
chest pads and vest
extra straps
chin pad
cords

The instructions have gorgeous drawings of statue like women, some naked, I love the art, fabulous! There are photographs of pad placement in these instructions, including some nudity.

The funniest thing about the instructions (in my opinion), is the lack of warnings. In fact, the only warning is to NOT store wet pads in the box. The only other warnings are to make sure to lie down, and to get the pads thoroughly wet, nothing about being shocked!

This is a true medical oddity.

This Relax-A-Cizor is in excellent condition. The pads and straps have some discoloration from use, age, and storage. I’m not sure if this unit is complete, there is no item list. The paper instructions are in excellent condition, there is a hand written note taped to the inside. The case is in excellent condition.
I do not know if the unit works or not. There is some broken and burnt looking ends on the wires.

I soooo NEED this!

Images and description via Strange Vintage.

This Is Just The Sort Of “Wrong” I Love To Collect

The “Me Jane” spread-legged plastic clothes hangers.

Sorry, ladies, these vintage novelty hangers were “for men.”

Because nothing says, “I’m secure in my masculinity, my sexuality, my self, and my life,” like a closet full of these gems. The reason these are the ultimate bachelor pad item is because they help guarantee a man remains a bachelor.

What I don’t get is the leopard print bikini panty. Why pretend modesty now? …Maybe the makers didn’t know what it looks like under there. (Makes me want one so I can peep beneath the fabric panty to see if it’s like Barbie. Or Ken!)

Via Copyranter.

Sunday’s Are For…

Razor blades? At least that’s what the “Sunday” charm on this Juicy Couture Days Of The Week Necklace looks like to me… Right down to the notched corners.

Oddly enough, the item description reads thus:

Juicy Couture’s days of the week necklace is designed to make each day a bit more glamorous. Get it to cure that case of the mundane Mondays.

Razor blades: The cure for Mundane Mondays.

Found in my Shop It To Me Sale Mail Alert; you can sign up for yours here. Normally there aren’t razor blades, but open it carefully. *wink*

No Newt Is Good Newt

I had these buttons / pinbacks made back in the day — the early days of the gross ineptitude, racism, and misogyny of the political money-grubbing beast that is Newt Gingrich. Sold quite a number of ’em too.

Who knew they’d come back into the necessity of fashion again in 2011?

Then again, we never did quite flush Rush, either.

Like those helium poops, they just keep rising to the surface.  Ugh. And *sigh*

Thankfully I collect political items, so I just resurrect them as needed. However depressing that is.  Since Newt is unfortunately back, up to his old crap and more anti gay rights than ever, I’m selling the No Newt buttons again.

I just can’t summon the energy to get up on my soapbox and effectively speak (though I am close to a tantrum!), so go read Newt Gingrich Is A Bigot. And then mosey on over to The Maddow Blog for info on Newt— which admittedly has a search fail, so you have to trust Google for help. At least look at Rachel’s interview with Newt’s sister, Candace Gingrich-Jones.

Now That’s Cool Beans!

Cool Beans!

I’ve been saying, “Cool beans,” or its derivative, “Cool beaners,” for as long as I can remember.

I occasionally still use that expression, along with this vintage image, in my Big Mouth Promotions newsletters when I find something very, very cool.

So you can imagine how excited I was to see the Fred & Friends Cool Beans Ice Cube Tray: an ice cube tray that molds as it freezes liquids into coffee bean shaped ice cubes.

The maker says that this is most useful to those who like their cold coffee drinks; you freeze coffee into little bean shapes to keep your drink iced while adding flavor to your drinks. But most importantly (at least to this non-coffee drinker) is the fact that you can use this to make any kind of cool beans you’d like — from regular ice cubes to fruit purees, all in the adorable little bean shape!

I need this. And I need it by the winter time because the most ice I seem to use at home is to cool down my hot chocolate so I don’t have to wait too long to drink it. Having a frozen little chocolate bean (made from the previous batch of hot cocoa) would be just the thing!

Stop Being Such A Baby

I’ll admit that I don’t have a clue as to what this vintage photo is really about. It could be innocent silliness; it could be some sort of kinky soft-core fantasy.

But when I look at it, I’m reminded of my sister.

When we were kids on family vacation one year, my sister had one of her dramatic fits of anger just as we were all walking from the hotel room to the car. As luck would have it, there outside of the rooms ins some sort of outdoor covered area, along with the ice and vending machines, there was a baby’s crib, left by housekeeping or something. Since my sister was acting like a baby, my dad picked up my sister (who was then roughly 10 years old) and placed her in the crib.

My sister should have been able to get out, but being so consumed and fraught with anger, she couldn’t mobilize such an effort. This made her even more furious.

Her face was so red, her fists were clenched in rage beating on the top rail of the crib’s walls — her screams demanding her release could barely be understood above her own howls of fury.

And we, my parents and myself, just stood there, watching. And laughing. At a safe enough distance.

The laughing only enraged my sister more, keeping her helpless and trapped in the baby’s crib.

Eventually she was spent. With nothing left to give, her emotional skies cleared, and the whole thing passed. Too exhausted from it all, she still couldn’t get herself out so my dad picked her up for the second time that morning and swung her back down to the ground.

And we went on our way to get breakfast.

Photo via Shop-Till-You-Hop-Photo-Store.

Familiar Feminist Faces

This pair of Ms. mugs look familiar… But then, as someone growing up in the 70’s, I saw a lot of the art deco dames — and the word “Ms.” Sometimes the word was a slur; but still…

I have no idea if these were put out by Ms. Magazine. Someone needs to make a site or page devoted to Ms. collectibles… Gads, I hope I didn’t just assign myself another project.

For Those Who Think Pin-Ups Are Stuck-Up, I Guess…

A vintage ceramic pinup — pencil holder?! While I struggle with the idea of such a pencil holder, what else could it be?

The seller, luxebetty,shares the following details:

Made in Japan 5 1/2″ tall by 5″ wide and 2″ deep. …holds 6-10 pens, markers or pencils.

So you know luxebetty’s stuck stuff in this pinup’s butt.

While I have no idea to see figurine rape, I kinda want to see the pencils sticking out… Just to see if that’s really the intended purpose.

I struggle with stuff like this; I really do.

The End Of The Piggy Bank

Even though I acknowledge that there are less and less actual piggy banks being made now, I’m not sure how I feel about the Discovery Deluxe Touch Screen ATM Machine:

Equipped with its own ATM card, simply insert it into the machine then touch the screen to enter your personally created secret pin. Viola – now you can make deposits, withdrawals, even view your balance, anytime!

On one hand, I see the cool factor. And if personal savings banks are supposed to A) teach children how to be accountable for money and #2, remind adults to save their pennies, then this certainly is a modern tool for those things.

But such things are cold and impersonal.

…Hmmm maybe that’s part of the lessons we need to learn about money and banks.

Carry on, ATM bank, carry on.