Tag: Waiting

Drew Barrymore & I Agree

/ Alessia / 3 Comments

I normally don’t give a fig what celebrities have to say about dating — not only do they not live in the real world, but they are generally poor examples of what good relationships are. But when I read what Drew Barrymore reportedly said , I jumped for glee:

DREW BARRYMORE hates surfing the Internet for love – because it has taken all the romance out of dating.

The Charlie’s Angels star – who recently split up with the face of computer brand MAC Justin Long – confesses that even text messaging freaks her out – insisting she prefers the old fashioned ways of finding a man.

She says, “When I first started dating, it was like the Pony Express. We had to be frickin’ patient. And now everything is instantaneous. It’s too much! Where is old-fashioned romance and a little bit of mystery?”

I believe this is precisely why so many celebrity marriages & relationships fail — they are used to & demand instant gratification. Relationships may involve instant attraction, but the gratification comes over time. This is something which most celebrities seem to fear — perhaps because they fear time and it’s “ravages” rather than revere it.

While we regular folk may not be able to demand — or, more accurately, have our demands so regularly met — we seem to fall for the fallacy of instant gratification. Perhaps it’s because so many of us wish to emulate celebrities, too often for the wrong reasons. But in any case, many wish for instant gratification.

For example, Michelle at Dating Dames (where I discovered the Drew Barrymore news) defends her own quest for relationship instant gratification:

She had me until she complained about instantaneous. I’m not patient. …I’m all for mystery and old-fashioned romance, but I want it quick, baby. Like this, yes thank you for holding the door for me, now I’ll race you to the car. Lets go!

But relationships are the opposite of such a concept. I can’t help from making a reference to Drew’s movie, The Wedding Singer, and the song Grow Old With You:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CYI5bKZMes[/youtube]

Who Has Questions?

/ Alessia / Leave a comment

When I decided to start this blog I figured that I’d need a base of questions to work with. Sure, I have my ‘classics’ to share with you (and I will), but it could take awhile before those of you reading here are brave enough to send in your questions (more info on that here). So I gathered twenty of my friends and assigned them the task of filling out a blank piece of paper with one of the following:

a) a relationship question they’ve always wanted to ask, but been to shy/embarrassed/uncomfortable to ask

b) a description of a relationship issue or dating situation they’ve seen or known about which had them thankful they weren’t a part of

c) the story of a past relationship issue or dating situation which they think they should have handled differently

d) any sort of relationship ‘stumper’ they’d like to test me on

I thought I’d have problems with them filling out the papers — I even had a complicated plan for them to use my computer, instructions for folding the paper the same way, so that I couldn’t tell who wrote them. But amazingly I received 36 good questions and lots of loud laughter.

What this tells me is that your friends probably have a lot more questions & concerns than you know about — they’re just waiting to be asked.

We usually behave on the old friendship rule of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell — meaning we wait to be asked to offer our advice, but may of our friends are just waiting to be asked to unburden themselves. So, this busy holiday season, you may want to make the time to ask your friends for their advice (you’ll find they are rather willing) as well as make sure your friends know you are really open to helping them with their relationship stuff. If nothing else, you’ll improve your relationship with your friends.

Anyway, all this gives you an idea of where this blog is heading, what you can expect.  There will be lots of questions, lots of answers, and lots of laughter.